she makes me feel so much better
we just facetimed about nothing much and
it was honestly the highlight of my day
sometimes i can’t believe that i’m actually getting to experience these moments with her
this guy just asked me if im “full blown lesbian” now what does that even mean like hell yeah i’ve reached the maximum capacity of homosexuality i can finally ascend to gay fucking heaven
And God said unto Abraham, “Abraham.”
And Abraham replied, “What.”
God said to John, “Come forth and receive eternal life.” But John came fifth and won a toaster.
And Judas approached the rabbis and Pharisees saying, “The one whom I kiss is the one you seek.”
To which they responded, “Gay.”
And thus, god made Eve. And she was bammin’ slammin’ bootylicious.
see you all in hell
This tweet is so important to me